


We Could Get Ice Cream, Just Like Old Times

by BackattheBein



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Blackwing mentions, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociation, Emotionally Traumatic Past, Gunshots, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, aka Blackwing-related stuff, also ps I legit tried to tag Angst as a character lol, or that's kinda what I was thinking about as I wrote Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 13:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13765059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackattheBein/pseuds/BackattheBein
Summary: Dirk and Mona get caught in a grocery store as it is being robbed. Dirk does not do well under pressure. Todd comes to comfort him.





	We Could Get Ice Cream, Just Like Old Times

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by and is dedicated to @princessparadoxical She continues to delight me with her fantastic headcanons and illustrious imagination. She inspires me to write better every day, and also she loves angst, so this is right up her alley. 
> 
> Lines in bold are taken from a hurt/comfort prompt

_Pop!_

_Svlad Cjelli!_

Dirk was frozen, rooted to the spot. Suddenly he was no longer a grown adult, completely free man/holistic detective, simply caught in the dairy aisle trying to pick out which flavor of ice cream to buy.

No, no, he was a child, a poor, helpless child, watching as a red river of something too dark to be good drained slowly from his mother’s –

“Dirk!” a soft, high-pitched voice whisper-yelled right into his ear, but he was too chilled to flinch. He did feel the unnatural warmth and ice of a cold, metal something being pushing into his hand, though.

As if through a haze, he slowly blinked and turned his head down to his hand. It was a flat-ish metal mirror thing? He could see a face in it perfectly … the face had lovely red-brown hair, or was it auburn? Mahogany? Oh, now the face was scrunching up, thinking … he could see tears in the eyes and on the cheeks …

Another popping sound made him jump. He looked to the floor behind him.  _That’s funny_ , he thought,  _I used to have a toy just like that back … back in …_

Bending at the knee, Dirk reached out and grabbed the toy that he vaguely realized must have been Mona. He started squeezing it for all it was worth. He felt his mind start to clear, if just a little. If anything, the weight on his chest lifted slightly, the constricting feeling in his ribcage alleviating.  

Dirk slowly stood up again, not eager to make any sudden movements. He tried to look around as covertly as he could in his disjointed state.

His head was too much a mess, a confusing mix of present events mingling uncomfortably with the highly unpleasant past, to really put together what was happening. In actuality, some men all clad in black were standing near the front of the store, forcing several employees back against the wall with rather large and impressive guns.

 _They’re robbing the store_ , Dirk thought frantically, his racing heartbeat finally audible as the ringing in his ears died down.

He didn’t even realize he’d sunk down to the floor until his butt hit the sticky, cold tiles.

And it was at this precise moment that the Universe, blessed and cursed as it is, lent Dirk a hand.

The metal thing still in his left hand began to buzz, and Todd’s face appeared on the screen.

_Todd … Do I know… ? … Are we friends? … Assisfreinds … Boyfriends! … Shit!!_

Dirk roughly shook his head as he finally came back to his body in the present. His shaky fingers swiped accept on the call and he brought the phone to his ear.

“Hey, Dir–”

**“Can you please come get me?”**

Todd was momentarily thrown off, but before calling he’d thought Dirk had been out for a bit too long at this point. But, he wouldn’t necessarily call that a hunch … no, no it wasn’t, his boyfriend certainly wasn’t rubbing off on him, no …

“Ok, where are you? Are you still at the grocery store?” He guessed, based on the cheesy dollar store music he could barely hear in the background.

Suddenly, another gunshot rang out, and it was unmistakable even through the phone’s crappy speakers.

“ **Help me** ,” Dirk whimpered, feeling rather small.

“Dirk! Jesus fuck! O-ok,” he rambled, heart in his throat. He was definitely  _not_ going to panic right now. “Where are you?” he tried again.

Dirk took a deep breath, something like butterflies in his stomach, except, not the nice fuzzy kind he got whenever Todd smiled that crooked smile at him … no, the butterflies were buzzing and mean and they were angry and they hurt and –

“ **I don’t know where I am** ,” he finally mumbled out, too torn up between everyone and everything to give a coherent answer.

Todd was already out the door by the time Dirk answered. He didn’t even bother to buckle his seatbelt, which in retrospect was a terrible idea, but he couldn’t’ve cared less. He had to get to Dirk.

“Ok, well, it sounds like you’re still at the store, so,” he huffed out, making a too-sharp left turn. “I’m heading there. You just, just, stay where you’re at, and d-don’t get shot, ok? Promise me!”

***One hour later***

The police had arrived at the scene about ten minutes after the robbery began, thanks to a young employee who had been stuck in the back room when the intruders had first broke in. That person had remained covert, called the police, and thankfully, no one had been critically injured in the standoff. 

Some officers were escorting the hooded villains into a police car, while some softer, calmer-looking officers were gently bringing people out of the store itself.

As intimidating as Todd thought he was, none of the cops were letting anyone past the yellow police tape, and no matter how much he protested they insisted he had to wait there.

Just as he was about ready to try something (lord knows it wouldn’t have been the most illegal thing he’s ever done) he finally saw the telltale yellow leather jacket.

A friendly-looking female police officer was gingerly holding Dirk’s upper arms as she led him out of the store and over to an ambulance.

If Todd was already severely shaken up about Dirk being involved in a hostage situation, he was full-on panicking now. Had Dirk been shot?!

Finally,  _finally_ , the tall, muscular cop Todd had been standing up to let him past, and he rushed over to the ambulance. 

Dirk’s hands were still shaking as he gripped the squeeze toy, its blue eyes popping profusely out of its head like in a Tim Burton movie.

Todd saw an EMT walking towards them with a bright orange blanket, and Todd quickly motioned them over. With a glance that said more than words, Todd took the blanket. He carefully wrapped Dirk up in it and then sat down next to him, knees knocking together.

It wasn’t a particularly cold October afternoon, but Dirk was shaking worse than Todd had ever seen him.  _This really got to him_ , he thought.  _We should get home soon; the familiar territory should help him calm down._

“Hey,” Todd whispered, gingerly placing his hand on Dirk’s shoulder and rubbing it slowly. 

Dirk blinked a few times, clearing his head again, before he turned to meet Todd’s eyes. They’re just so blue, he wanted to cry out. Have you ever seen eyes as blue as that, all like crystals and deep water and the sky and like you could lose yourself?

Dirk wanted nothing more than to lose himself right now, so he did the only thing that felt right then. 

Those beautiful blue eyes fluttered closed as their lips connected. It was neither hot nor heated; it was comforting, warm, subtle. A gentle glide of smooth on tender, an easy tangling of tongues and mingling of breath in the chilly evening wind. 

Dirk felt something soft and warm blossom in his chest, the old weight of the moment finally, blissfully gone. 

As they pulled away, Todd leaned their foreheads together, realizing he had wrapped his hands around Dirk’s neck to get at that sweet spot on the back of his head, the one that when scratched made him positively melt.

“Let’s go home,” he said quietly, breathlessly.

*

They did eventually return home, and not long after, Mona returned to her human form. It was only long enough for her to give Dirk a long, solid, knowing hug, before walking back towards her usual spot and assuming her usual velvet blue couch-shape. The rest of the night was spent together, wrapped up on their bed, watching mindless television, ordering copious amounts of pizza, and falling asleep cuddled up and spooning in a mess of napkins and blankets.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to hit the kudos button, leave a comment, or hmu on tumblr <333 Thank you for reading!


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